The next chapter

Sep 1

Happy first day of September everyone:) ! It’s been a minute. I’ve had the craziest past month & haven’t had the chance to actually sit down to finish and post this blog. I’ve been writing some notes throughout the weeks, so this is sorta gonna be all over the place, but also just a bunch of insights and advice on how to cope with change and uncomfortable situations.

The main event in my life right now is college. College is a BIG change. It’s not easy for everyone to basically uproot their lives to a new state, or area, without really knowing anyone. That “security blanket”, as my therapists like to call it, is no linger there. You are kind of just on your own. It’s thrilling, but also extremely nerve-racking.

Leaving my childhood home, all of my family and friends I’ve made over the years, and of course my pets, is definitely a weird concept to grasp. I like to think about change as a new chapter. Our life is a book we continue to write everyday and each time we encounter a huge change we get to start a new chapter. We are shaped by all of our last experiences—the good & the bad. We can’t run away from that. It’s a part of your story. In a book, as you progress through chapters, all of the pages you read are still there. These moments still happened, but life continues to turn pages everyday.

You are shaped by the chain of experiences that have being piling up since you were born. All of these memories and moments have shaped you into the person you are. They will always be there and always be part of who you are today.

Just because you experience change, doesn’t mean that the last version of yourself wasn’t important. We mature and can use change as a change to create and define a new self. I used to hate change. I was scared of it. I ran away from it. But now, I embrace it with open arms. Just because change happens and your life might look a little different now, doesn’t mean all those amazing memories you made didn’t happen.

I feel ready and excited to go on this next chapter and journey of my life–and to create a new version of myself and to create new memories with new people.

As I’m about to start the next chapter here are some thoughts:

College is extremely exciting. There are endless opportunities.

Change challenges your resilience. Sometimes it really can test you.

It’s key to stay mindful of your emotions during this change, and know that it is okay to be sad. Change is sad, and that is okay. We know that. So think of this new part of our life as the next chapter in our stories that are unfolding in front of us!

At this time in my life I feel the most prepared, strong version of myself for the first time In a while.

I can’t take all the credit (my parents & therapists really did the most for me.)

Thank you to those who have followed along! I’m excited to see where this journey takes us!

MH⚡️😃

“A chapters ending, but the stories only just begin” - Hannah Montana

Positive affirmations!

1. I’m allowed to take up space.

2. My past is not a reflection of my future.

3. I am strong enough to make my own decisions.

4. I’m in control of how I react to others.

5. I choose peace.

6. I’m courageous and stand up for myself.

7. I will succeed today.

8. I deserve to feel joy.

9. I’m worthy of love.

10. I love myself deeply.

11. My body is healthy, and I’m grateful.

12. I’m more at ease every day.

13. I’m calm, happy, and content.

14. My life is a gift and I appreciate everything I have.

15. I surround myself with positive people who will help bring out the best in me.

16. I don’t need someone else to feel happiness.

17. I’m allowed to take time to heal.

18. All is well.

19. The point of life is balance, not perfection.

20. I choose not to criticize myself or others around me.

21. My potential to succeed is limitless.

22. Difficult times allow me to appreciate the good times.

23. I forgive those who have hurt me.

24. I’m in charge of my life and no one will dictate my path besides me.

25. I’m doing my best and that is enough.

26. I have the power to create change.

27. I know exactly what to do to achieve success.

28. I choose to be proud of myself.

29. I will not compare myself to strangers on the Internet.

30. I am enough.

31. I let go of all that no longer serves me.

32. I love myself fully.

33. My life gets better as I get older.

34. I can do anything I put my mind to.

35. I’m worthy of respect and acceptance.

36. My contributions to the world are valuable.

37. My needs and wants are important.

38. I make a significant difference in the lives of people around me.

39. I am blessed with amazing family and friends.

40. I attract abundance into my life.

41. My life is full of amazing opportunities that are ready for me to step into.

42. I’m free to create the life I desire.

43. I’m open to new adventures in my life.

44. I’m bold, beautiful, and brilliant.

45. My body is perfect in the way it’s intended to be.

46. When I allow my light to shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

47. No amount of worrying can change the future.

48. To make small steps toward big goals is progress.

49. Negative thoughts only have the power I allow them.

50. I can choose to see the good. Everything WILL be okay.

It might seem sill to you to read these, but they actually can make you feel better!

Coping with change:

The one constant in life is change. That doesn't mean we ever get used to it or fully embrace it, though. Usually, change is hard for most. Sometimes changes can be unexpected, and sometimes change is just something that comes with getting older and experiencing life.

1. Acknowledge that things are changing.

Sometimes we get so caught up in fighting change that we put off actually dealing with it. I honestly don’t recommend this because in order to heal, you must feel those feelings. Denial is a powerful force, and it protects us in many ways. However, stepping outside of it and saying to yourself, "Things are changing, and it is okay" can be less stressful than putting it off. Developing optimistic self-talk with yourself is KEY. Walk yourself through this scary time. Talk to yourself & check-in. Make sure you stay mindful fo your emotions and recognize when they might be changing. Remind yourself in these moments that

2. Realize that even good change can cause stress.

Sometimes when people go through a positive life change, such as graduating, going to college, or getting a new job, they still feel a great deal of stress—or even dread. Keep in mind that positive change can create stress just like negative change. Stress is just your body's way of reacting to change. It's okay to feel stressed even when something good has happened—in fact, it's normal.

3. Keep up your regular schedule as much as possible.

The more change that is happening, the more important it is to stick to your regular schedule—as much as possible. Having some things that stay the same, like walking the dog every morning at 10 am, or listening to a podcast every day, gives us an anchor. An anchor is a reminder that some things are still the same, and it gives your brain a little bit of a rest. Sometimes when you are going through a lot of change it helps to write down your routine and check it off as you go. It's one less thing for your brain to have to hold inside.

4. Try to eat as healthy as possible.

When change happens, a lot of us tend to reach for carbs—bread, muffins, cake, etc. This may be because eating carbs boosts serotonin—a brain chemical that may be somewhat depleted when you undergo change (stress). It's okay to soothe yourself with comfort foods—in moderation. Eating healthy will just make you feel good. Your body will feel good after you eat some yummy fresh fruit.

5. Exercise.

I’m really bad with this, but exercise is definitely something that’s important to keep up if it is part of your daily routine. Keeping up regular exercise could be a part of the "keep up your regular schedule" tip. If exercise is not currently part of your routine, try adding it. Exercising two to three times a week has been found to significantly decrease symptoms of depression (Barclay, et al. 2014.) Even just walking around the block can help you feel better.

6. Get help.

No one gets through life alone. It is okay to ask for help; that's a sign that you know yourself well enough to realize you need some assistance. Think of your trusted friends or family members. Chances are that they are happy to help if you need them to watch your kids while you run some errands, or if you just need some alone time. Also, it’s okay to seek professional advice. Getting into therapy was the best decision of my life.

7. Write down the positives that have come from this change.

Maybe due to this change in your life you have met new people. Maybe you started practicing healthier habits. Maybe you became more politically active. Maybe you became more assertive. Maybe the change helped you prioritize what is most important in your life. Change presents us with the opportunity to grow, and it's important to acknowledge how things have become better as a result.

8. Give yourself a break. In a time of change, you may feel a little out of control. You may feel like you are not living up to your expectations for yourself. Remember that you are allowed to do less than what is humanly possible. Take a mental health day. It’s so important to schedule in time for self-care. In order to do all of the amazing things you want to accomplish your body needs to be functioning properly. You need to rest tour mind and your body. Listen to yourself because the body knows when you need to take a break! You will have a fresh mindset after you recuperate.