How to avoid saying something insensitive to someone with a mental illness
15 worst things to say to someone with depression, and how you could rephrase them:
“Just snap out of it” → “You’re so much more than your symptoms”
“Think positive” → “I love you”
“What do you have to be depressed about?” → “You’re feelings are valid”
“Stop attention seeking” → “Thank you for still being her”
“Lighten up” → “I’m proud of you. You got this”
“We all get sad from time to time” → “I see the real you not your struggle”
“You’re such a burden” → “You’re not a burden”
“Don’t be such a downer” → “I love you even on your darkest days”
“You’re just being ungrateful” → “I’m here for you no matter what”
“You chose this” → “You are so strong for fighting this”
“Get over it” → “We are in this together”
“You’re such a buzz kill” → “It is okay if you need time and space to recharge, I won’t take it personally”
“But you don’t look depressed?” → “You’re not the awful things your mind is telling you”
“It could be worse?” → “What can I do to bring some comfort?”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself” → “Depression is strong but you’re stronger”
These comments don’t help people with depression–they dismiss one’s struggle, invalidates their emotions, increases feelings of worthlessness, and encourages one to socially withdraw and not reach out when they struggle. These words can really have a huge negative impact on someones self-esteem. So please, think before you speak and make sure what you are trying to say isn’t going to come off as insensitive.
10 worst things to say to someone with anxiety, and how you could rephrase them:
“You’re being so irrational” → “You’re not crazy”
“Why don’t you come out more often? Kinda lame” → “It’s okay if you need some alone time to unwind and feel better”
“You have to calm down, it’s not that hard” → “We don’t have to talk if you’re overwhelmed, we can just sit quietly and watch TV"
“Stop using anxiety as an excuse, it’s not a big deal” → “It’s okay, I know you wouldn’t cancel plans last minute without a good reason”
“Just let go and stop overthinking” → “You are so much more than your anxiety”
“I get stressed from time to time too but you don’t see me breaking down” →
“Stop blowing everything out of proportion–you’re so annoying” → “I may not fully understand what you are going through, but I’m here for you”
“You have no reason to feel anxious” → “You’re feelings are valid”
“Don’t over analyze it” → “You’re so strong for fighting a war in your mind 24/7”
“Suck it up” → “We are in this together”
